Fantastic Dreams

Thursday, May 12, 2022

Not a lot of sleep last night but at least in a couple stretches it was deep, quality sleep.  Had a fantastic dream that I only remember bits and pieces of, part of which was present day me got to take a drive through my hometown as it was in 1978.  Of course most of the details I remember were wrong, but it was incredibly vivid.

I could have done without the wakeup and trouble going back to sleep related to work stress though.  At least this morning turned out better than expected.  Lots of catchup coming though.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cheese.

Standard.  I did have extra cheese not pictured.

Dinner:  Dominos thin pep ham onion, 12 oz Coors Light, SF vanilla pudding w unsweetened coconut

Darned discount got me again.  Fished out my phone and forgot to take a photo.  Doh.

Exercise:  Nope.  I was quite awake at 3:00, not so much at 5:00.  Didn't go to bed or sleep nearly early enough.

39.6

Dang I Had A Great Title

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

I have a way of thinking of great titles for the daily post in the morning when I weigh in and then I promptly forget them.  It's pretty unusual that I still remember one by the time I start writing which is usually following lunch.  Oh well.  One nice thing about having no audience -- and I'm completely fine with that -- is that nobody cares if my stuff is dull or trite or boring (or all three at once).

Pleasantly surprised to not see a bump on the scale after last night's very bad improvised dinner.  Yay.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cheese

As pictured.  Yup.

Dinner:  Taco meat, TCD style mashed potatoes, 12 oz All Day IPA, SF choc pudding w unsweetened coconut

Yup.  Bigger serving of taco meat, it's what I had in the freezer.

Exercise:  Nope.  I haven't come close to being able to get up at the desired time.  It's going to take an assist (like an overfull bladder) to get me up and going.  I may have to consider evenings but I very much prefer early morning.

40.0

Shade Less

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Eating just a shade less last night was a good thing, though interestingly enough (to me anyway) was that my stomach was still working on it some four hours after I stopped eating.  Hopefully I can get past the mental block of needing a sizable dinner -- really, it's 90% mental, not physiological -- and continue to shrink what I eat.

Now if I can just generate a bunch of enthusiasm for work, that would be great.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Leftover steak, TCD style mashed potatoes, toast, cheddar and swiss cheese

I made a batch of potatoes last night as part of a future dinner test, I wanted to see how they would freeze.  Expectations are low but it's worth trying.  I kept some in the fridge so I could pair them with this leftover steak, which I would have had for dinner but for the fact that I have golf tonight.

Dinner:  Culvers mushroom swiss burger, fries w ketchup, diet root beer, TB 2x chipotle chicken burrito, potato taco

Was going to get a chef salad but got there too late.  Doh.  

Exercise:  9 holes with cart, little walking.

42.0

The Elusive Good Sleep

Monday, May 9, 2022

Another so-so (at best) night of sleep.  It's always something.  Too warm, too cold, drafty, cramps, other aches and pains, whatever.  I'm afraid to truly fix it I need to lose a bunch of weight, exercise much more regularly, be consistent with bedtime and rise time, turn off the screens much earlier, eat much less in the evenings, etc etc etc.  Very much a "work in progress".

At least the scale wasn't up despite more bad eating (and late eating) yesterday.  Still, I'm definitely stuck in this range and if I'm going to break through I need to fix the eating.  So time for some gradual changes.  I'm not good at having major changes stick so let's just try to do a little better consistently.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese

Running low on soup stocks, need to make another batch.  Also, once I finish the next container of cottage cheese time for a break on that, it's a little carbier than I'd like and it's good to switch it up. 

Dinner:  3x american tacos, 12 oz All Day IPA, SF choc pudding w unsweetened coconut

Trying to make a small start right here.  Cut down one taco.  They were very good this week.

Exercise:  Nope.  Legs and feet are OK with a rest day.

43.6

Moms

Sunday, May 8, 2022

Happy mother's day, of all the hallmark holidays this is (tied for) the best.

My prediction from yesterday was wrong, I slept horribly.  Probably for the most part due to the excessive and dreadful eating, but the aches and pains probably played a part.  Definitely not physically comfortable, probably need to dial back the carbs quite a bit, among other things.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Connie's frozen pizza w sausage, onion, green peppers

It was OK.  I also had a little bag of chips during golf and 16oz Mich Ultra after

Dinner:  Steak, salad, french bread w butter, a few chips

Also:  TB 3x chipotle chicken burritos, Wendy's frosty

Exercise:  18 holes w cart.  Average walking.

43.6

If Sunday Is Funday

Saturday, May 7, 2022

... does that make Saturday Faturday?  Feels like it might.

Anyway, TGIS.  Millions of things to do, but it's the freakin weekend.

Breakfast:  2 eggs over medium, 3 strips bacon, hash browns, raisin toast w homemade jam, coffee

Standard pre-golf breakfast out

Lunch:  Campfire dog, tots w ketchup, pickle spear, 12 oz Miller Lite

Snack:  Avo oil chips and onion dip

Dinner:  Dominos bklyn pep ham jala, 12 oz Coors Light

Oof.

Exercise:  18 holes with cart, medium walking.

Feet weren't real happy when I got up this morning but they were fine.  Definitely not as fresh today as I was yesterday.  Should sleep well tonight I think.

41.4

Eatin Season

Friday, May 6, 2022

Golf season, eating season.  Will be a calorific weekend.  Speaking of which, I ate a bunch of lemon cookies last night in a meltdown moment.  Evenings haven't been good lately.  At least I didn't see a big gain on the scale this morning.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese

Yup.

Dinner:  French dip, chips, 16 oz Mich Ultra

Pretty good.

Also:  TB 2x chipotle chicken burrito, chips and cheese, toast

Exercise:  18 holes with cart, not that much walking.  Some though.

42.2

Stubborn Waters

Thursday, May 5, 2022

The pizza water is hanging on.  I need a couple days of much better eating with way fewer carbs to get it moving since it's really not a welcome guest.  Oh well, this time of year is just not ideal for me when it comes to diet discipline.  Mostly hoping to get more active and hang on.

Tired last night.  Felt like I slept decently, woke up at six and slept hard after that in the recliner.  Often that's fitful sleep, not the case today.  I was out.  Sleep might be a bigger mystery than weight.  Maybe.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese

Very standard.  All good.

Dinner:  Lentils, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, Meijer SF chocolate pudding w/ unsweetened coconut

Same ol' except Meijer was out of Jell-O SF pudding so I tried the store brand.

Exercise:  Nope.

42.8

Superdehydration

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Chain pizza is amazing.  It always leaves me both incredibly dehydrated and I also retain like crazy.  Both were present in spades this morning -- I was still very dehydrated hours later.  I think topping selection contributed but even veggie chain pizza is salty, wheaty and veg oily.  Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I just ate a slice or two but I have no control when it comes to pizza.  Need to go back to just making my own.

It remains to be seen when I'll start getting rid of that water, no signs of it just yet.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.  And a glass of water first.

Lunch:  Leftover turkey/gravy/mash.  Toast.  Pineapple.

End of all of this.  It was a lot of turkey.

Dinner:  Lentils, toast, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream

Need to avoid buying the good ice cream even when it's ridiculously cheap.

Exercise:  Nope.  Schedule going in the wrong direction.  We'll see if I can be more disciplined this evening.

42.6

Leftover Satisfaction

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

The turkey leftovers have been surprisingly decent.  I mean it's not a huge surprise, more of a hey I'm surprised that I can get lunch on the table in 15 minutes or less and it doesn't suck.  One more day of them after today I think.  I'll have more turkey left, don't know if I can stretch it further or maybe soup it.

Back to back nights with low snore scores, feels like I slept decently last night (unlike the night before).  It's still not ideal but absent more regular exercise, a regular set schedule and more weight lost I'm not sure it ever will be.  Oh and yeah, the room environment kinda sucks too.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Leftover turkey, mash and gravy.  Toast.  Crushed pineapple.

All good.

Dinner:  Pizza Hut thin pep pork beef sausage, 12 oz All Day IPA, SF chocolate pudding w unsweetened cocount

Pizza was loaded.

Exercise:  Nope.  Stayed up too late scrolling twitter (stop that you IDIOT).  Golf league rained out.

40.2

Monday The Real Turkey Day

Monday, May 2, 2022

Tired this morning.  And just felt off.  Was worried for a while but as of lunch I'm more normal.  Still get concerned any time I feel less than 100%, it's just the way of the world these days.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Leftover turkey/mashed potatoes/gravy, toast w butter, leftover SF jello w pineapple

Leftoverpalooza.  Reheated quite well.  Cleaned up the jello.

Dinner:  2 mexican tacos, 2 american tacos, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, chocolate SF pudding with unsweetened cocounut

You never know when they're going to package the tacos separately.  It's so random.

Speaking of random, man I got rid of some water this afternoon.  After a lunch that had both mashed potatoes and toast!

Exercise:  Nope.

42.2

Fast Fast

Sunday, May 1, 2022

April went fast.  Really fast.  Time continues to accelerate.  

Didn't pay as much of a price as expected for yesterday.  As always the chain pizza made me tremendously thirsty and I drank a lot of water, not all of which has exited.  And I didn't get as much exercise as I had hoped.  Oh well.

For the month I mostly treaded water.  I'm down a few from my first measured weight, but that was immediately after returning from vacation.  It's about where I was before I left for that vacation.  But I guess I'm going to call it a (very small win) that I'm not up after a lot of bad eating this month.  Do better.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  4 eggs scrambled w a splash of milk in butter, sharp cheddar, 2 sausage patties, homemade cream drop biscuits with butter

Easy easy but quite good.  I had some cream to use up so I made a batch of biscuits, I'll probably just stick the rest in the freezer for future biscuits and gravy meals.  They turned out surprisingly good, I wasn't even too annoyed at myself for being too lazy to roll, laminate and cut.

Snack:  Chips and onion dip.  Cleanup.  Not much.

Dinner:  Hot turkey sandwich - homemade bread, roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy.  Green peas, SF jello w a little crushed pineapple, 24 oz All Day IPA

Had a turkey taking up too much room in the freezer so I roasted it.  All turned out good and now I've got a bunch of leftovers to eat up.

Exercise:  Nope.

40.4

All Out Pretty Much

Saturday, April 30, 2022

I know.  TGIS.  I said it again.  Needed it.

Going to be a lousy eating day.  Oh well.

Breakfast:  2 eggs, 3 strips bacon, hash browns, raisin toast w homemade jam, coffee

Standard pre-golf breakfast out

Lunch:  12 oz All Day Vaca, deluxe sub

Merely very good.  A tiny fraction short of the usual incredibly elite sandwich.  But very very good.

Snack:  Chips and onion dip

Oy.

Dinner:  Domino's thin crust pep ham green olive

Darned deal got me again.

Exercise:  9 holes with cart.  Rained out at the turn.  Not enough walking.

40.0

Positive Thinking I Guess

Friday, April 29, 2022

At least there are two good things today, it's Friday and it's been a good week for shedding water weight.  I have a social function tonight that I am not exactly excited about but I'll make it through.  Need to do lots of stuff this weekend, we'll see how far I get.

Low snore score last night and it felt like I slept OK.  I'm surprised the scale was down after I added a big serving of popcorn to my already substantial dinner, but no way am I complaining.  All pretty positive.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Ham soup, toast, cottage cheese, Cabot seriously sharp cheddar

Cleanup.  Finished off everything (I threw two soups in the freezer yesterday to test that out, I've been reluctant to try it given the cream but I've read some stuff that suggests that cream freezes OK).

Dinner:  Beef, mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, salad with some kind of dressing and fruit, 24 oz Coors Lite

Event food.  it was okay.

Also:  TB beef and chipotle chicken burritos

Fatter than the typical $2 burritos.

Exercise:  Nope.

38.6

Beigeday

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Maybe just a hair less aggravated today.  But not much.  Did get a decent amount of sleep last night and it's never a bad thing to get rid of some more water.  We'll see how the rest of the day unfolds.

On the food front, it is and will continue to be a very beige day.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Ham soup, toast, cottage cheese, cabot extra sharp cheddar

Just different soup.  Made a batch last night to use up some stuff.  Soup is okay, but not exceptional.  It'll work and that's a good thing because I have four more servings in the fridge...

Dinner:  Ham soup, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, Nick's triple chocolate, popcorn with butter

Annoying urge to eat tonight.

Exercise:  Nope.  See yesterday's complaint.

40.0

Abandon Plan

 Thursday, April 27, 2022

So frustrated right now.  Just completely frustrated.  I feel like I had developed a good plan.  Come home, eat a modest dinner, clean up, go to bed early.  Get up early, walk, get to the office an hour early and devote that time each day to a particular set of tasks.  It all made perfect sense.

Except neither my body nor work are going to allow that.

The body side is mostly just annoying.  I have been tired lately, which is probably more stress-induced than anything else.  I have not been able to push through to get myself up.  I have been somewhat successful at going to bed early, though less so at getting to sleep.  But mornings have been a complete and utter FAIL.

On the work side, I'm staring into the abyss.  I have so much more to do than I have time and energy to handle.  Burnout is real and it is severe, but even when I push through that I fall further and further behind.  I think I'll work weekends but when I do the hangover effect into the following week is brutal.  But I have to do this stuff.  No question about it.  I have to work more, harder and efficiently.  Somehow.

And what is going to have to give is the beautiful plan, which made so much sense.  Tripped by the body then guillotined by the office.  Instead I'll be going back to work in the evenings and on the weekends (though I won't give up golf season for reasons) and pushing things as hard as I can.  Late nights and not enough sleep.  Hopefully I can still eat decently.

The one positive thing I can say is that I let go of much water last night.  And I was much more comfortable when it was time to sleep having eaten less.  Need to keep that up.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese, Cabot seriously sharp cheddar cheese

Repeat.  Still good.

Dinner:  Lentils, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, sugar free chocolate pudding w unsweetened coconut

Hey, it worked yesterday right?  All good stuff.

Exercise:  LOL NO dammit.

41.8

Let's Try Resting Up

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

A radical idea I know but I went to bed relatively early last night.  Maybe I should say very early.  I just didn't go to sleep right away -- need to break that habit -- but it was still relatively early.  I wasn't quite as dozy and was much less fatigued this morning as a result.  I would still like to get into a dependable routine, but life sure makes that hard.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese, a couple little slices of Cabot seriously sharp cheddar

Remembered the cheese when cleaning out my fridge yesterday and it sounded good so I had a couple thin slices.  One of my favorite cheeses and you don't need a lot to get enjoyment.

Dinner:  Lentils, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, sugar free chocolate pudding w unsweetened coconut

New batch of the lentils (sausage lentil "soup").  Tasty as always.  It is entirely possible that I will need to give up the lentils

Exercise:  Nope.  Too much sleep.

44.6

And Another One

Monday, April 25, 2022

Poor discipline this weekend.  Sad.

Not ready for another Monday and that's with having an unexpectedly free afternoon yesterday.  So it goes.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese

Standard.  New batch of soup is good.

Dinner:  2 tacos mexican style, 2 american style, 12 oz Yuengling, a few Cheese Kurls, lemon angel food bars

Cleaned up the weekend's remaining junk.  At least the stuff that I got into.  Doh.

Exercise:  Nope.  Schedule still off.

45.2

Pizza Price

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Not enough walking yesterday to "earn" that pizza.  Not that I should eat pizza anyway, and especially not that much pizza, but I ate it and today I pay for it.  On the scale anyway.  That's the pizza price.

Forecast for this afternoon looks grim, which is too bad as we have a time at a nice course and I'd like to get out again.  We'll see about that.  In the mean time, it's time to make the soup.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Hamburger vegetable soup, toast, lemon angel food bars

New batch of soup.  As always, it's better after it's been frozen.  Oh well.   Also made the angel food bars and had to taste test them.  Not bad.  Complete junk of course.

Snack:  Cheez Kurls

Speaking of junk.

Dinner:  Home tacos american style, applesauce, doritos, lemon bars w vanilla ice cream, 12 oz Miller Lite

Sunday dinners.

Exercise:  Nope.  Golf scratched and thank goodness, miserable out there this afternoon.

44.2

Stepped Off

Saturday, April 23, 2022

TGIS.  Again.  So glad and it doesn't hurt one bit that today is the first truly nice day we've had this spring.  First day of 70 degrees in six months.  And it's even pushing 80.  Just a perfect, low humidity, nice breeze, weekend spring day.

Breakfast:  2 eggs over medium, 3 strips bacon, hash browns, raisin toast w strawberry jam, coffee, homemade bread ends w butter

Standard pre-golf breakfast out returns for another year.  I had a couple bread ends before I left since I sliced up the loaves I baked last night.  At least I got that cooking task accomplished.

Lunch:  12 oz Miller Lite

Post golf.

Dinner:  Pizza with sausage, onion and green pepper

Umm.  Meh, I guess?  I didn't order extra cheese, this was regular.  And in general, it just didn't all come together.  Second time I've tried this place and the first was better.  I think they're too busy for their oven.  So I'll probably wait a while before ordering again.  Several other options and of course home pizza.

As usual I ate WAY too effing much.  Idiot.  At least it was a little earlier than usual.

Exercise:  18 holes w cart sorta cart path only.  Only racked up 5200 steps/2.5 miles though which is a little weird.  But whatever, it was nice to be outside all day.

42.6

Overfill

Friday, April 22, 2022

I need to eat less dinner.  A pretty simple thought but it's the truth.  I eat too much when I get home, I eat too late and my body doesn't have enough time to process it before I want to go to sleep.  Time to dial it back.  Also think I'm going to just end the Nick's experiment.

Last night was a prime example, I was still working on processing stuff when I woke up about 2:00.  Uncomfortable.  Pretty sure it messed with my sleep and gave me a high snore score.  Do not want.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Lentils, remaining Tostitos with jalapeno verde salsa

The midday meal is probably going to get simplified too.  

Dinner:  Pizza Hut thin pep ham pork beef, animal crackers

Uhh.

Exercise:  Nope.  Tired, sleepy, groggy.  

43.4

Up One

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Just marking time, trying to get through to the weekend.  It's hard.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:   Deluxe sub

Was at work until 8:00 last night so no bread was baked.  I was passing by the place that makes the sub at lunch time (it's about 20 minutes away) and I caved.  No regrets, it was terrific.  I'm sure I'll be up another pound tomorrow.

Dinner:  Taco bowl, Tostitos, jalapeno verde salsa, 12 oz All Day IPA, Nick's cookie dough 'ice cream'

All pretty good.  Tostitos are about third tier tortilla chips tho.

Exercise:  Nope.  Woke up at 3:00 to pouring rain, knew right then I wasn't going out.  Was still rainy at 5:00.

44.0