Abandon Plan

 Thursday, April 27, 2022

So frustrated right now.  Just completely frustrated.  I feel like I had developed a good plan.  Come home, eat a modest dinner, clean up, go to bed early.  Get up early, walk, get to the office an hour early and devote that time each day to a particular set of tasks.  It all made perfect sense.

Except neither my body nor work are going to allow that.

The body side is mostly just annoying.  I have been tired lately, which is probably more stress-induced than anything else.  I have not been able to push through to get myself up.  I have been somewhat successful at going to bed early, though less so at getting to sleep.  But mornings have been a complete and utter FAIL.

On the work side, I'm staring into the abyss.  I have so much more to do than I have time and energy to handle.  Burnout is real and it is severe, but even when I push through that I fall further and further behind.  I think I'll work weekends but when I do the hangover effect into the following week is brutal.  But I have to do this stuff.  No question about it.  I have to work more, harder and efficiently.  Somehow.

And what is going to have to give is the beautiful plan, which made so much sense.  Tripped by the body then guillotined by the office.  Instead I'll be going back to work in the evenings and on the weekends (though I won't give up golf season for reasons) and pushing things as hard as I can.  Late nights and not enough sleep.  Hopefully I can still eat decently.

The one positive thing I can say is that I let go of much water last night.  And I was much more comfortable when it was time to sleep having eaten less.  Need to keep that up.

Breakfast:  Coffee

Yup.

Lunch:  Soup, toast, cottage cheese, Cabot seriously sharp cheddar cheese

Repeat.  Still good.

Dinner:  Lentils, 12 oz All Day IPA, mixed nuts, sugar free chocolate pudding w unsweetened coconut

Hey, it worked yesterday right?  All good stuff.

Exercise:  LOL NO dammit.

41.8