Fighting Ungrateful

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

I was feeling rather ungrateful for no change on the scale this morning when I took a step back.  Took a hard look at what I ate yesterday.  Look at all those carbs.  Pumpkin bread, beans, rice, popcorn, chocolate milk.  That's a lot.  I should change my attitude instead to be grateful that I didn't gain, despite all that, because I ate mostly real food, at home, and kept quantities in check.  If I'm going to lose I need to do better.  

Nothing else of note.

Breakfast:  2 slices CF HD bacon, coffee

 

Quick and simple.  Held up better than expected.

Lunch:  Soup and mash, chocolate milk

 

Last soup from the batch.

Dinner:  LC Pep pizza

Crack.  Big time. HANGRY.

Exercise:  Nope.

104.4

Stalled

Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Not a lot of pep this morning.  Was not eager to get going.  But I did and I powered through things at work.  So that's good.

Sleep was average.  Weight ticked up, annoyingly.  Kinda stalled.  Need to be cleaner yet and get it some walking.

Anyway, more work coming right up.

Breakfast:  Pumpkin bread w butter, 2 strips CF HD bacon, coffee

 

Last of the bread.

Lunch:  Spicy beans with diced ham, a glass of chocolate raw milk

 

Probably more than I needed tbh.

Dinner:  Taco rice (1C containers of taco meat and rice), guac, 12 oz All Day IPA

 

May as well abbreviate it, it's going to be a thing. 

Also:  Home popcorn w butter.

Exercise:  Nope.

104.4

Lost Thoughts

Monday, April 28, 2025

Not ready to face the week but I will do it.  It's actually been an okay morning.  But I definitely needed to work yesterday and I didn't.

Twice now this morning I have had thoughts that I noted as being important or profound and then immediately lost.  If this continues I will be concerned.

 

Nothing much else of note.  Last night's crack was unfortunate, if not huge.  Scale was down fractionally despite it.  Might prove helpful as it was once again terrible quality.  

Breakfast:  Pumpkin bread w butter, 2 slices CF HD bacon, coffee

These bacons are ridiculously thicc.  Only 10 slices to the pound.

Lunch:  Spicy beans with diced ham

Only one regular soup in freezer inventory, plus a couple ham and rice, so there will be beans.  I also needed to eat up a package of diced ham this week before it goes out of date.

Dinner:  3 tacos Mexican style, 12 oz All Day IPA

Decent.

Exercise:  Nope.  Edit:  Yes.  After dinner I helped move boxes and stuff for 20-30 minutes.  Counting it.

104.2

Dreams Of Indifference

Sunday, April 27, 2025

Slow start to the day.  Woke up at 4:30, actually went back to sleep about 5:00 but man the quality was just not there.  Had a convoluted dream and once I started waking up regularly about 7:00 I was just not rested.  Kept wanting to go back to sleep.  If I was not 100% sure that doing so would completely screw up my schedule I would have gone back to bed.

No meaningful change on the scale, don't eat the junk dummy.

Anyway, it's going to be a busy day.  Lots of cleaning, followed by work work.  No golf today.

Breakfast:  Pumpkin bread w butter, coffee

Making a dent in the loaf.  It'll be good when it's gone.  Later, 2 slices of heavy duty CF hickory bacon.

Tasty.

Lunch:  4 eggs scrambled with 1C sausage gravy

Froze three containers of gravy when I made it weeks ago, reheats nicely.

Later had about a half cup of basmati rice cooked in chicken broth, prepped a batch for the freezer and I ate the odd bit.

Dinner:    Turkey breast sandwich w gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, 12 oz Miller Lite, ice cream

Sunday dinners.  Also 2x TB chicken enchilada burritos.  Meh.

Exercise:  Nope.  Active but nothing that counts.

104.6

Flow Shut Off

Saturday, April 26, 2025

TGIS.  Needed a day off.

Another morning where time flowed much slower than usual.  Woke up at 4:30, didn't get up until 7:00, very little if any sleep in that window.  Just lots of thoughts, lots of clock checking.

Speaking of shut off, the water flow pretty much ended after two days.  It was notable.  Just normal flow now.  Which means no more huge drops.

Breakfast:  2 eggs over medium, hash browns, bacon, raisin toast w homemade jam, coffee

Standard pre-golf breakfast.  Notably large quantities today.

Lunch:  Farm pumpkin raisin bread w butter, Kettle avo oil chips

I ate more than the pictured quantity, alas.

Had an annoying thought this morning, I like buying the occasional baked good from the farm.  But I bet they're not fully MAHA and there is probably canola oil in there.  Sigh.  This loaf of pumpkin bread is decent, but the one I made a while back with coconut oil and butter was better.  Oh well.  If I want clean I have to make it myself.

The Kettle brand chips were an impulse buy, since I noted they had a couple new avo oil varieties.  The health food store now carries at least 3 avo oil brands, all of which are fine.  No tallow chips yet.

Dinner:  Home spaghetti, 12 oz All Day IPA

Meat sauce from the freezer, sourdough pasta.  Not bad.  I made fewer noodles but am still beyond stuffed.

Exercise:  18 holes with cart.  Cold and windy.  I'm tired.

104.8

All That Liquid And Then Some

Friday, April 25, 2025

Very glad it is Friday.  Just have to get through the afternoon.

Pretty standard night, went to bed on time though I didn't get to sleep as quickly.  During the water disposal stage I'm only good for three hours of sleep at a pop, so I was up at 12:45 and 3:45.  Woke up about 5:30 and dozed without any success at all in the recliner for a long time.  

Truly amazing how much water I can dispose of when I take a break from eating pure crap.  More than ten pounds in two days.  All the weight I've gained this month and then some.  All gone.  Now ... it just needs to STAY gone.  And a lot more needs to go.

Made it to the farm at lunch to pick up milk since it's back, also grabbed a loaf of pumpkin bread.  

Breakfast:  NR bacon sausage links, coffee

Last of the package.  I'd buy again if I spot them on sale.

Lunch:  Ham and rice soup

What I thawed, was fine.  I know I have a few more in the freezer.  Made for a quick lunch and the satiety was better than expected.

Dinner:  Keto bowl

Been a while.  It was too much food.

Exercise:  Nope.  Soon.

105.6

Slow Hours

Thursday, April 24, 2025

Felt like yesterday was a reasonable start.  It wasn't pure low carb, but it was enough to start the water dumping.   I ate enough to not be hungry but much less overall especially in the evening.  That is going to be a point of emphasis.

Went to bed early, managed to get to sleep about 9:30.  Woke by bladder around 3:00 and I really didn't get any meaningful sleep after that.  Was awake for the most part.  Not uncomfortably so, it just was.  And it was interesting - the hours passed slowly.  Usually when I'm doomscrolling or dozing in the recliner the time flies by.  This time every time I checked the clock much less time had passed than I expected.  It was, frankly, kinda nice.

Anyway, day two is going as planned so far.  There were donuts at work but I didn't have a hard time passing.  

Breakfast:  3 Niman Ranch bacon sausage links, coffee

Decent.

Lunch:  Soup and mash

Again.  Soup stocks getting low.  Might need to make a batch this weekend.  Satiety wasn't as good today, I was hungry by mid-afternoon.  Dealt with it tho.

Dinner:  Taco meat, spicy beans, 12 oz All Day IPA

1C containers of beef and beans.  I was going to have rice, but apparently I ate all the ones I had in the freezer so I thawed beans instead.

Exercise:  Nope, still early.

112.2

Initial Rolling

Wednesday, April 23, 2025

Okay then, here we go.

Very sluggish start and I think I'm not going to plan anything ambitious for this evening.  It's going to take a while for improvements to take hold.  But I'm encouraged by two consecutive at home meals.

Breakfast:  Buttermilk pancakes w butter and maple syrup, 2 Niman Ranch bacon sausages.  Coffee.

 

I had thawed the pancakes to eat on Sunday but then never did.  They were decent if a bit crispy reheated in the air fryer.  The links were an impulse buy (they were on sale).  Okay, but not as good as local.

Lunch:  Soup and mash

 

The old standby.

Dinner:  4 eggs over medium, 1C IP spicy beans, 12 oz All Day IPA

 

Been a while since I've had a beer before dinner, decided to give it a go with a smaller dinner.

Exercise:  Nope, not yet.

116.2

Can We Do This?

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Okay, I have things mapped out.  If I can get a few things done tonight - and I really have no excuse - I can get to work on fixing things tomorrow.  It's way past time.

Breakfast:  McD sausage egg mcmuffin, hash browns.  Coffee.

Burned a few points.

Lunch:  Double cheeseburgers, fries

A last go around from the local place.

Dinner:  Dominos NY bacon cheeseburger pizza, cheesy bread, coke

Bah.

Exercise:  Nope.  Recovering from the weekend, I'm still stiff when I sit too long, primarily in the knees, but get out of it quickly.

114.6

Off The Juice

Monday, April 21, 2025

Man, I need to get back off the diabetes juice.

Predictably rough day.  I could have used a couple more hours of sleep.  Going to try and get the right amount tonight, though of course I should be back at work.

Hopefully one more day of bad eating and then a hard reset.

Breakfast:  Leftover deluxe pizza, coffee

 

The air fryer made fast work of it.  I'm glad that I got three meals out of the pizza, which is better than usual, but still, I need to give it up.

Lunch:  Deluxe sub, Coke

 

On the go.  Had a bag of popcorn as a mid-afternoon snack

Dinner:  3x mexican tacos, mexican coke, chips and onion dip

 

Solid.

Exercise:  Nope.  Pretty beat up again.

114.2

Risen And Not Just Talking Bread

Sunday, April 20, 2025

Easter Sunday

Spent a lot of time on rest last night into this morning.  Went to bed about 9:30, woke up about 3:30, went back to sleep (more or less) in the recliner promptly, lazed about until well after 7:30.  TGIS and glad I could do that, though I'm going to be really pressed on time.

Again notably beat up, hoping that a diet fix this week will help with that.  Sugar and such equals inflammation with equals aches and pains.  Lose that, lose some weight, things get better.  Simple.  Which is not the same as easy.

Breakfast:  Coffee, leftover lemon sugar cookies

If I were going to continue buying stuff like this I need to bring reading glasses.  The ingredient list for the cookies is horrifying.  I should not have purchased them.

Lunch:  Leftover deluxe pizza, TB cheesy beef burrito, pepsi

 

 

Air fryer does a nice job.

Dinner:  Ham, scalloped potatoes w cheese, roll w butter, mac and cheese, 12 oz Miller Lite, brownie and ice cream, coke

Holiday Sunday dinners.

Exercise:  18 holes with cart

115.2

Beating

Saturday, April 19, 2025

Being this fat presents a variety of challenges, but the one that gets me is the absolute pounding something as basic as a round of golf puts on the body.  I am beat up.

Woke up at 2:00 this morning.  Absurd.  Back to sleep about 4:00.  Some things need fixin'.

Breakfast:  2 eggs over medium, 3 strips bacon, hash browns, raisin toast w jelly, decaf

Standard pregolf breakfast out.  Tis the season again.

Lunch:  Campfire dog KMRO, fries, 12 oz Miller Lite

Always a treat.

Dinner:  Deluxe pizza, coke, lemon iced sugar cookies

Tasty, bad for me.

Exercise:  18 holes with cart.

116.2

I Think We Can

Friday, April 18, 2025

Whew.  Survived the week.  Crazy busy.  But it's Friday.

I think I'll be able to get started this weekend.  I hope anyway.  I've seen what I look like right now and it's not pretty.  Yeesh.

Breakfast:  TB sausage crunchwrap, coffee

Meh.

Lunch:  CFA spicy w pepper jack, fries, coke, brownie

Okay.

Dinner:  LC pep pizza w sauce, pepsi

Meh.

Exercise:  Nope

115.6

At Least There Was Sleep

Thursday, April 17, 2025

Didn't get much done last evening, which is disappointing.  Haven't fixed the eating yet, ditto.

But I did get a solid night of sleep, slept almost eight hours consecutive.  Yay.

That felt good.

Breakfast:  Pretzel bagel w veggie cream cheese, coffee

Yuh.

Lunch:  2x Wendys singles, fries

Pretty tired of takeout tbh

Dinner:  LC pep pizza, pepsi, later popcorn, donuts

Ugh.

Exercise:  Nope.  Get me to Saturday.

112.6

Looking At A Reset

Wednesday, April 16, 2025

Whew.   Glad to see some balance slowly starting to return.  I didn't have time to get food lined up for today, but otherwise I'm working on getting back on track.  We'll get there.  Lots to do tonight.

Odd night.  I woke up about 2:15 after getting to sleep about 10:45.  Was awake, so I resigned myself to some two phase sleeping.  Went back to sleep between 4:30 and 5:00, up at 7:30.  Not ideal.  As I have said, I do hope that as I get back on a regular routine featuring exercise that I'll sleep more consistently.

Breakfast:  Cheese toast, orange juice, coffee

 

Last of the sourdough.

Lunch:  Pep/supreme pizza slices

Couldn't decided what to have.

Dinner:  Chili cheese dogs, chicago dog, fries, coke, hot fudge sundae

Excessive

Exercise:  Nope.

114.4

Enough Of That He Said Again

Tuesday, April 15, 2025

Whew.  Long day.  Busy day.  But it's done.

Taking tonight off to rest and recharge.  I need to work, but reserves are on empty.  Rest tonight, start fixing things tomorrow.

Breakfast:  Cheese toast, coffee

Still have a little sourdough left.

Lunch:  2x McD double cheeseburger, coke

Meh, was in a rush.

Dinner:  JM #56, chips and onion dip, coke, donuts

Good sandwich, the rest meh.

Exercise:  Nope.

112.4

Endless Dread

Monday, April 14, 2025

Ugh.  It's going to be a brutal day.  Dreading it.  

But it is nobody's fault but mine.  I needed to work all weekend.  I didn't.  And now I will pay the price.

Breakfast:  Cheese toast, coffee

Okay.

Lunch:  Cheeseburgers, fries

 Local place again.  Time to stop.

Dinner:  Chili cheese dogs, fries, coke, popcorn, donuts

This too.

Exercise:  Nope

113.0

Possible End Of Thing

Sunday, April 13, 2025

Feeling a little beat up this morning.  Apparently even the mild exercise that is golf can get you when you haven't done a single active thing in almost a month.  Nothing serious, just a cranky leg and some minor stiffness.  But it's noticeable. 

Anyway, once again far more to do than time (or interest tbh) to do it.  Let's see what I can get done.

Breakfast:  Lazy bagels with cream cheese, coffee

Maybe the last go for these for a while.  Made a point to eat up the rest of the cream cheese.

Lunch:  Leftover deluxe pizza, a few chips and onion dip, 2x Wendys double stack

OK.

Dinner:  Home tacos, doritos, applesauce, 12 oz Miller Lite

 Sunday dinners.  Also fourthmeal: TB caliente chix burrito, double beef burrito, Coke.

Exercise:   18 holes with cart.  Not as much extra walking.

111.2

Not Eager

Saturday, April 12, 2025 

Very much a struggle to get going this morning.  Woke up nice and early, but tired.  Definitely not eager to get moving.  Which is unfortunate, because I had some things I wanted to get done before golf.  Now I have to do them this evening.

Oh well.  So it goes.  Almost there.

Breakfast:  Cheese toast, coffee

 

Bought a loaf of sourdough yesterday.

Lunch:  12 oz Miller Lite, chips and onion dip

Post-golf snack, could have just gone directly to dinner since it was almost 5:00 by the time I got home.

Dinner:  Deluxe pizza

Actually kept quantities in check for once.  Leftovers tomorrow.

Exercise:  18 holes with cart.  Brr.

111.2

Or Just Get Used To It

Friday, April 11, 2025

Hey, at least it's Friday.  Another night of jacked up sleeping.  Managed to get to sleep shortly after 10:00, woke up at 3:30.  Was awake.  Didn't do anything - maybe I should start making use of the time.  Finally dozed off about 5:00 until 7:00.  A little better sleep this time on the back end.

Anyway, let's get through the rest of this.  It's finally hit 50 outside just now, so there is hope for a decent weekend weatherwise.  Need some outdoors time.

Breakfast:  McD sausage egg cheese mcmuffin, burrito, hash brown.  Coffee.  Donut.

Yup.

Lunch:  Italian beef, fries

Dependably good but bad for me.

Dinner:  Chili cheese dogs, fries, coke, peanut M&Ms

Same.

Exercise:  Nope.  Tomorrow!

110.8

Less Than Ideal Routines

Thursday, April 10, 2025

Sleep has settled into an annoying routine.  I go to sleep.  Feels like I sleep okay.  Bladder eventually wakes me up.  I get up and take care of that.  I then cannot immediately go back to sleep.  I move to the recliner and deal with annoyed sinuses.  Eventually I nod off into a light slumber.  Lots of dreams, frequent wake ups.  And then the alarm goes off and I'm not rested.

Not ideal.  Not at all.

Hopefully when I get back on track things will improve.  It seems like the short time I was getting consistent evening exercise I mostly slept straight through, so there is hope.  But right now, woof.

Breakfast:  4 CF sausage links, bread w butter, orange juice, coffee

 

This jug of juice has lasted a while.

Lunch:  Jersey Mikes #56

 Tasty, also very caloriffic.

Dinner:  Brisket burrito, cornbread w chorizo chili, mexican coke

 

Expensive but tasty.

Exercise:  Nope.

110.8

Up Not At Them

Wednesday, April 9, 2025

More bad choices, it's what I do.

Woke up at 3:30 to move some water, was quite awake.  And still quite full.  Oof.  Of course I could not get right back to sleep.  I was much more awake at 3:30 than I was when I got up at 7:30.

Turned out to be a fairly productive day, but I kinda ran out of steam late afternoon and I'm avoiding going back in tonight when I really should.  Goal is sleep.

Breakfast:  2 slices bread w butter, orange juice, coffee. 

Later I had a Chomps jalapeno beef stick I had lying around.  It was okay.

Lunch:  2x CFA spicy w pepper jack

Actually spaced them out, lol

Dinner:  Bacon cheeseburger pizza

It was decent.

Exercise:  Nope

111.4

Excess Relief

Tuesday, April 8, 2025

It was amusing to see the scale lower this morning.  Just a minor break from the binging and good things happened.  I need to get through this week.

Not much else going on, just work.

Breakfast:  3 CF sausage links, toast w/ butter, orange juice, coffee

 

Gain.

Lunch:   Doublecheeseburgers, fries

Tasty.

Dinner:  LC pep pizza, sauce.  Later donuts, popcorn

 Garbage.

Exercise:  Nope.

110.0

Unacceptable Prices

Monday, April 7, 2025

Sigh.  Monday again.  I was very much not ready for it.

It has not helped that I am paying the price for sleeping in both days and eating way too much yesterday.  This morning was very sluggish with little to show for it.  Unacceptable.

Hopefully this afternoon is a bit better.

Breakfast:  3 CF sausage links, toast w butter, orange juice, coffee

 

As described.

Lunch:  Home leftover smashcheeseburger, Coke

 

Reheated the patty in the air fryer.  Nothing on it other than butter on the bread.  Pretty decent.  Cleaned up the Coke, should be done with that.

Dinner:  2x mexican 2x american tacos

 

 

Okay.

Exercise:  Nope.  Part of the problem.

112.4

Super Slow Starting

Sunday, April 6, 2025

Fears realized, I wasn't anything remotely ready to sleep last night at a reasonable hour.  Well after midnight before I faded out.  Sigh.  Spilled over to this morning where I woke up at 7:30 and here three hours later I have accomplished almost nothing.

Not good Bob.  Speaking of not good, I need to add bad donuts to yesterday's eating.

Breakfast:  Lazy bagels with cream cheese, coffee

 

Cream cheese left for at least one more week, so not quite done with these I think.

Had some very mediocre grocery store iced cinnamon rolls (what a list of ingredients, yuck) and cleaned up a little chips and onion dip.

Lunch:  Home smash cheeseburger w PK ketchup and mustard.  Coke.

 

Not bad.  Wasn't sure if 1/6 lb patties would be sized correctly, but two of them fit great on my french bread.

Dinner:   Busy day casserole, cheesy green beans, applesauce, roll w butter, 12 oz Miller Lite, ice cream

Sunday dinners.  Popcorn and Sprite.

Exercise:  Nope

109.8

More Sleep More Same

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Interesting morning.  Woke up at 4:00 and was pretty awake.  Didn't really do much and eventually went back to sleep in the recliner a little before 6:00.  Got up at 8:30.  Ugh, I hope that doesn't bork my schedule even more than it already is.  On the plus side, I definitely felt a bit better this morning than usual.

Otherwise, spent the day at work.  Which I'll probably do tomorrow as well.  Just too much to do.

Breakfast:  Pretzel bagel w veggie cream cheese, coffee

Local place.

Lunch:  Chili cheddar dogs, fries, coke

Uh.

Dinner:  Double cheeseburgers, fries, chips w onion dip

Yuh.

Exercise:  Nope

108.2

Madethru

Friday, April 4, 2025

Whew.  Made it through the week.  A busy but reasonably productive day.

All work, no play, yadda yadda.  Going to be an all-work weekend, but no phone is always good.

Breakfast:  McD sausage egg mcmuffin, burrito, hash brown.  Coffee.

Used up a few points since I was out of bacon.

Lunch:  Jimmy Johns #9 toasted, salt and vinegar chips, diet lemonade

Forgot to mod the sandwich, but since I had chips I was getting seed oils anyway.

Dinner:  LC pep w sauce

Meh.  First poor LC I've gotten on this run, it had been sitting too long, which is bizarre for Friday night.

Exercise:  Nope

108.8

Discouraged By Work

Thursday, April 3, 2025

Sigh.  I know that it's going to be one more week before there is a meaningful chance of fixing things.  It is just not realistic to make major life changes during a stretch when you're burning the candle at both ends.

Got about six hours of sleep last night, but was reasonably functional.  Productive day at work.  I just need a night to crash early, maybe tomorrow will be it.

Breakfast:  3 strips CF bacon, jala cheddar toast w butter, orange juice, coffee

 

Again.  Out of bacon.

Lunch:  CFA spicy w pepper jack, fries, diet lemonade

Work trip over lunch.  Interestingly, I think what I eat also impacts the afib, it's not just when I eat too much.  All the more reason to get straight.

Dinner:   Deluxe pizza, 16 oz Two Hearted, popcorn, donuts

Work dinner out, got a small pizza and a beer.  Junk later.

Exercise:  LOL NO

107.6

Adding To Tally

Wednesday, April 2, 2025

Did not pay too steep of a price for last night's failure.  Which is nice.  I give LC credit, I react far better to their pizza than either of the other chain options. Also need to add a couple slices of toast w a sprinkle of parmesan to the tally for yesterday.  Oof.

Anyway, it was a reasonably decent morning.  I went to bed a little early, though not as early as I had hoped due to the excess eating.  Was still quite tired this morning though once I got going I'm fine.  A little concerned that my heart may still be off rhythm as it has been all week.

Breakfast:  3 strips CF bacon, jala cheddar toast, orange juice, coffee

 

Again.

Lunch:  Soup and mash

 

Been a while since I had a regular soup.

Dinner:  LC pep pizza w sauce

Another work night.

Exercise:  Nope

107.4

Slow But Massive

Tuesday, April 1, 2025

A fresh month.  March wasn't bad, other than the small increase on the scale and the massive piles of incomplete work waiting to be done.  

I'm definitely getting rid of lots of water -- despite eating way too many carbs yesterday and today so far -- but even at that massive rate of outflow it's taking multiple days to bounce back down to pre-uberbinge levels.  I'll get there, not worried about that.

Breakfast:  3 strips CF bacon, jalapeno cheddar toast w butter, orange juice, coffee

 

Eventually I'll need to dial back to a single item, but for now this is tasty and satisfying.

Lunch:  Ham w rice soup

 

WAY too much.  Cleaned up my fridged containers as they were getting to end of life.  Sheesh.

Dinner:  LC pep pizza w sauce

Cracked.  Fatigued and having sinus issues, I just did not feel like cooking.  Eat, unwind. go to bed.

Exercise:  Nope.

107.0